Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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