I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Walk of Shame today included voting.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
