you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
