Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
