I just saw a hot homeless man
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize