I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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