I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
