just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You need Xanax blowdarts
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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