Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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