Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
