I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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