11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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