In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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