1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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