its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
