Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
