Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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