Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
