I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
