We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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