pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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