vagina is talking i cant
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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