her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
