So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
