I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As shirtless as possible
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
