Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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