i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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