omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
