very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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