I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
