id be glad to
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
