Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
