Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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