I hope mine doesn't look like that
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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