If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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