I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
