I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
