I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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