I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
soo... how was my night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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