what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
