You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
