So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize