Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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