I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
