i permit you to call me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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