I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
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