that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
