We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
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Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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