I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
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it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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