I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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