absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
