I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
