you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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