That's intense
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
