almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
