Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
