i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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