I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
