He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
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I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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