matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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