I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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