I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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