so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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