My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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