Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
