I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
