I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Randomize
