Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
