Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
