he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
